Who Couldn't Love That Face?

Getting pregnant is easy.

Imagine you have a beautiful baby, one that you love with all of your heart, and everyone you show your baby to finds him less than perfect, even if it is just a vague reference. "I prefer girl babies." "Shouldn't he be walking by now?" "I think he is only supposed to have two eyes." It wears on you, and at some point, even the most loving mother becomes reluctant to show baby pictures. Not because she doesn't love that child, but because she is tired of defending his perfection to those that don't see it.

Of course, no-one else HAS to love your child, unless your goal for that child is to one day share his gifts with the world. That's when things get tough. And if that baby is actually a book, that's when the tough are quickly humbled.

I'm certain those that have never pursued this path have no idea how hard it is to get a publishing contract for a book, and I won't even go into the process, because it's enough to make the average, sane, person say, 'why would you do that?' For me, writing the book was easy; it's the 'what comes next' that is difficult. Why? There are no real 'rules' for this part of the game and for most, it does involve a lot of rejections.  Almost everyone has to deal with them---J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, the list goes on of the hundreds of rejections that many famous authors received before they actually sold a book. As writers, we use these examples to keep us going, but it doesn't really make it any easier.

  

That brings me to my book, They Call Me Crazy. I love the little three-eyed devil, and he'll walk when he's damn well ready. But at some point, someone needs to love him like I do or he'll never move out of the house.

My sweet little boy has made it through rounds of acquisition editors, only to be killed in committee like a bad Schoolhouse Rock video. He's been called a few bad names, but usually just a reference to 'somethin' ain't quite right about that kid'. My favorite rejection, ever, being the editor that said, "I will buy the book when you get it published, but we don't have room for it on our list."

Patience. Rejections. More patience. More rejections.

So what do we do? Keep showing the baby pictures, keep entering our little guys in baby contests and never lose sight of the fact that our babies are the most wonderful creatures they can be.  And one day, someone will say, "My, what a unique little guy he is!"

And it only takes one.

Write Good Words

The assignment in my English Composition course last week was to write a personal essay discussing something you had read that changed the way you viewed life. It could be anything, a book, a poem, a news article and 'the change' could be something life altering or something as simple as 'brushing my teeth every day'. The purpose of the assignment was twofold: to focus on construction of a personal essay and to realize how powerful words are.

Hats off to my students, who wrote about everything from children's books to epic poems, on subjects ranging from child abuse to better financial management of their own lives.  To learn their interests and what is important to them was fascinating. But as a writer, I realized something very important.

Our written words matter.

All of them.

Of course, there are obvious articles and books that are intended to raise awareness of subjects, but it seems that it was the subtle references in unexpected works that my students picked up on and were really struck by. It is the comparisons to their own lives, similarities and differences, that forced them to look at their worlds differently.  And as one student put it, "Although I've read other things on this subject, this particular author seemed to speak my own thoughts on {the subject}, and I knew I wasn't alone."

That's powerful.

To think that a horror story can make someone understand that we all have a potential monster inside of us, that a poem can make you call your mother every week just to say hello, that a fantasy novel can help you understand the value of imagination, that a news article can help you see the importance of questioning and not taking everything, or everyone at their word, or that a biography can teach you to appreciate the small things in your life, is something we should all consider. Every genre and every medium has the ability to affect someone's life in unexpected ways.

So as writers, what do we do?

We write good words, we tell good stories, we take care in our craft.  Because someone will read our work. And it may make a huge difference in how they view the world around them.

So, in teaching my students that the words they read can be very powerful, I also realized that the power comes from those of us that write those words.

Let's do it well.

Once Upon a Princess

        

Like most females, I grew up watching and reading Disney and my earliest ideals about womanhood came from watching Disney princesses. I never thought much about negative messages that these characters might be giving, all I thought of was how wonderful it would be to someday be in love, be beautiful, be a princess.

Most recently, there has been a lot of controversy about these characters. They are always thin, always beautiful and typically rely on the male figure for their happiness. As an adult who has grown through a historical period of female liberation, I, too, felt that Disney may be sending the wrong message to young girls. Where are the fat princesses? The lesbians? The woman who just want to succeed based on their own worth?

 A few weeks ago, I read an article on the University of California's website by Lydia O'Connor titled, "The Princess Effect: Are Girls Too 'Tangled' In Disney's Fantasy?" and basically, the author agreed with me: Disney needs to change and show 'princesses' as normal woman, not just dependent sheep of impossible beauty. Although this particular article could be seen as supportive of my own previous argument, reading it made me understand how ridiculous that opinion might be.

Young children go through a period in their development when they establish a gender identification. Of course, not all young girls identify with the female role models, however, there do have to be defined lines for them to recognize the differences between male and female. Androgynous figures might be more confusing than helpful. True, once they get older and identify more with their own selves, that may be the path they are most comfortable with, but as young children, they need to see the differences in gender in order to understand the similarities.

Additionally, imagination plays a huge role in the development of a child's intelligence. I would think there is more imagination being exercised  when pretending to be a mermaid who wants legs than costuming as a popular historical figure. I do think young girls should be exposed to contemporary, positive female role models, but I don't think overexposure and excessive emphasis on these women's lives offer more options for young girls. Not all will grow up to be the next leader of a people or run a corporation. Some will grow up to be stay at home moms, and that shouldn't be seen as less admirable. Finding a fair balance between magical places and realistic settings may offer them more in the long run when they begin understanding who they are in relation to the world.

Disney is trying. Although some of their attempts have met with ridicule, such as the racial stereotyping of Tiana, Jasmine, and Pocahontas, they have made some strides in other directions. Mulan, for example, is a warrior. And when given the choice, Fiona opts  to be an overweight, green princess instead of the raven haired beauty.

As an adult, I don't feel that my constant wearing of a mermaid fin when I was six made me less aware of myself as a woman.  My refusal to eat apples given to me by my stepmother or my fascination with riding horses, side saddle in a long skirt, didn't result in any lifelong psychological damage.  And maybe the Disney princesses taught me something else about life that we deny focusing on because we are too blinded by their exhibition of beauty; life has a lot of challenges, and in order to live the dream, whatever that dream may be, you do have to work at it.  And as for finding a prince? Yes, you do have to kiss a few frogs.

This Dark Road to Mercy by Wiley Cash

Growing up, football was a constant in my life, not only for the lessons I gleaned but also because of the special connection that it allowed between me and my dad. We were good friends, but football was, at times, our way of communicating.

When reading This Dark Road to Mercy by Wiley Cash, I couldn't help but associate with twelve-year-old Easter Quillby. Baseball is her game, Sammy Sosa her favorite player, and although her father, Wade Chesterfield, had left her and her younger sister when she was nine, now he’s back, and baseball may be the thing that brings them together. Both are keenly following the 1998 race between Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire to break Roger Maris' long standing record of sixty-one home runs in a season. But Easter is reluctant to let him back into her life so easily. Wade, a washed-up former semi-pro pitcher, has brought back a lot of baggage — most of it stuffed with stolen money.

The Sosa-McGwire race provides an excellent backdrop for the story and grounds the reader in time.  The baseball analogies are not lost on the non-sport minded readers. But the book is not about baseball.  It is about love and forgiveness and the power of family.

Wiley Cash

 In his first novel, A Land More Kind Than Home, Cash proved his ability to create flawed but endearing characters, and he continues this in This Dark Road to Mercy. Easter and her younger sister, Ruby, who recently lost their mother and are living in a foster home when Wade reenters their lives, will steal readers’ hearts -- Easter with her prepubescent pragmatism and six year old Ruby with her desire to please and be loved. But as he did in A Land More Kind Than Home, it is the father characters, the men who are far from perfect yet prove that they are willing to take care of their own, that won my respect and admiration.

Wade Chesterfield is a loser. He gave up the legal rights to his children and must 'steal' them in the night to be with them. He has no job, no home and no plan. Pruitt, a ruthless hired hitman seeking revenge, is chasing him.  Yet, Wade desperately wants to make things right with his daughters, even though he has placed them in unnecessary danger. To atone for his past, or because he truly loves them? -- that is for each reader to decide. I found myself rooting for Wade; a complex character who did so much wrong trying to be right.

Another father character that Cash introduces us to is Brady Weller. Brady is the court appointed guardian of Easter and Ruby who is trying to find and, in his mind, save them from their father.  He vows to protect the girls, and again the reader is forced to decide whether it is to make up for his own failures or if his motivation is simply about the girls' well-being. Brady has his own demons — he’s struggling with his past and is desperately trying to save his relationship with his own daughter.

With straightforward storytelling, narrative that flows effortlessly and characters that are hard to forget, Wiley Cash has quickly become one of my favorite authors, and I can't wait for his next book. And the next, and the next. 

AND, although I do love the novels by Wiley Cash, I have a bit of a home-girl crush on his brother thanks to this video.  Wiley answers questions about his books---Cliff Cash steals the show! If you watch nothing else today, watch this!

This Dark Road to Mercy by Wiley Cash, publication date January 28, 2014. Pre-order your copy now at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, or your local bookstore.